Follow the sky-piercing searchlights to Kalihi on Tuesday night and you won't find a film premiere or a killer weeknight used-car sale.

Augie Tulba is returning to his alma mater to debut his latest stand-up act, appropriately titled "Then & Now." Guests will be treated like VIP arriving for a Hollywood premiere, complete with red carpet, paparazzi, searchlights and reporters. The show will be recorded for the follow-up to his best-selling "Live @ Hawai'i Theatre" DVD.

Seated in the back rows of the Farrington High School auditorium, we asked Tulba Five Questions about going back to school, the concert and going solo on the radio.

Q. Why do a comedy show and DVD at Farrington High School? Been reminiscing lately?

A. We talked about doing something right after the Hawai'i Theatre DVD. But we had to work on what the concept would be. Everybody wanted me to go to the Blaisdell Concert Hall. But Jon de Mello (CEO of DVD distributor The Mountain Apple Co.) said, "Why don't we just make it simple? We can do Blaisdell Concert Hall, maybe, two, three or five years from now." I thought, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." ... There's nothing like coming back to where it all began. And it's also to say thank you for supporting me with the last DVD. ... I wanted to do something that was personal, that came back to Farrington to say thank you.

Q. If these walls could talk, what would they say about Augie Tulba's four years here?

A. (Laughs hard.) You should've listened! You should've really paid attention to your teachers!

I'm really glad that some of my teachers took note that I was talented. They saw a lot of stuff in me that I didn't see. ... School, because of my dyslexia, wasn't something that I liked going to every day. ... So if the walls could talk, they would tell me ... that I should've stopped using my shortcomings as an excuse to be where I'm at. I should've used them as something powerful. Now as an adult, I know that.

Q. What's your best and worst memory from your years walking these halls?

A. I guess the worst was being turned down in 11th grade for winter ball. I'm not gonna name names. ... But I was so in love with that one girl. And she said, "No!" and I was, like ... (Augie grimaces and grits his teeth in frustration, then laughs). I don't see her anymore. But her sisters come to my show and I tell them I had the biggest crush on their sister ... and that (she) screwed everything up in my thinking of women. ...

My greatest moment was after my first professional boxing match. I was a senior. ... I made $200 (for the) fight and a $200 bonus for knocking a guy out. ... And I got to treat all of my Samoan friends from the (public) housing to a second lunch. To see the joy on their face, when I could actually afford to buy 20 of them a second lunch? That was awesome. I felt like I'd made it.

Q. Treat me like an arriving guest to "Then & Now." I've just parked the SUV or the Yaris, and I'm walking toward the auditorium. What happens next?

A. Because I want to say thank you, I want every single person that comes to this show to feel like they're the stars. That's why I'm doing a red carpet. That's the reason I'm lighting up Kalihi.

Because you know the stigma. Ewwwww, Kalihi! I've lived with that. I've been typecast and stereotyped all my life because of where I grew up and the places that I've lived. So when we decided to come back to Farrington and do the show ... I wanted spotlights, red carpet, guys dressed up in tuxedos asking you about what you're wearing.

I want people to feel, like, "Holy smokes!" I want people to walk into the auditorium feeling good about themselves and happy. ... The people who have been coming to my shows and supporting my comedy for the last 10 years? That's who's special.

Q. Are you ready to talk about why you left Island 98.5 FM and your long radio and business partnership with Lanai Tabura last month?

A. I love Lanai. He's been a brother to me for almost 16 years. But I think he knows, and I made it very clear, that I'm a comic before I'm a radio guy.

So why am I doing a radio show at home by myself now? (Augie does weekday morning and afternoon radio shows from his home in 'Ewa Beach, and from the road when he's doing stand-up. Because of a noncompete clause in his former contract, the shows are broadcast only on the Neighbor Islands.) Because it gives me the ability to say, "Hey, I wanna leave this week," and not worry about leaving somebody stranded by himself. I'm a comic first. I love radio because it gives me information (and) people know where I'm at. But I'm a comic. I love being in front of people. A partnership (demands) that we're always there together (or) it's hard.

I'm very ambitious. I don't want to be stuck to just being in one place. I want to be able to just go ... and not worry about when I'm allowed to take vacation. This (radio show) gives me the ability to do what I love doing and still be in touch with the people through radio. That's the reason!

It was just time for me to go. ... The guys who open my show (on Wednesdays at the Sheraton Waikiki's Esprit lounge) come to my house (to do radio) whenever they feel goofy. The only person I feel sorry for in this situation is my wife. She wakes up and there's five men in our living room drinking coffee, making big noise, laughing and taking calls.

Reach Derek Paiva at dpaiva@honoluluadvertiser.com.