Dear Advice Diva:

I'm a very shy and quiet guy. Now that I am in college, I have been starting to open up and talk to people a little more. It is becoming easier for me to make new friends. But I have noticed some people I talk to I can't seem to make a connection with — the conversations feel awkward, even when we share things in common. Other people, though, I can connect better with, and the conversation seems to really take off. The people I don't feel a connection with are often the people I really do want to become friends with. Is there any reason why I can talk to some people and connect while others I can't?

— Can't Connect

Dear Mr. Connected:

Connecting with someone is half chemistry, half gift of gab. If the chemistry isn't there — and sometimes it's just not — you'll need to take control of the conversation and ask the person a stream of questions that don't appear too personal/stalker-like. If you listen carefully and let yourself chill and enjoy the conversation, the questions will come naturally. Keep topics light, your manner easy.

And give yourself a huge pat on the back for getting out there and talking to people, Shy Guy! The more you do it, the easier it gets. Your new mantra: "I am a unique and interesting person who people will want to know." Repeat morning and night, in front of a mirror!

FIRST DATE

TURN-ONS:

1. A guy buys you a nice gift, for example, a teddy bear in a bag that says "Hugs & Kisses."

2. He sends flowers to your job.

3. A memorable first kiss that lasts 10 minutes.

Turn-offs:

1. Constant silence in a conversation.

2. Bad breath.

3. Being high on drugs or alcohol.

— Eric in New Jersey

DIVA'S MAILBAG

Dear Advice Diva:

Thank you so much for the recent info about Just-A-Drop. I had gastric bypass surgery four years ago, and all these years, I have had an issue with strong bathroom odors. I was always so self-conscious about using public facilities. I ordered Just-A-Drop, and it is amazing. It has been like a miracle solution for me and given me such peace of mind. My husband and I read your column faithfully!

— Charly Kasal, St. Paul, Minn.

Dear Charly:

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The Advice Diva welcomes your questions — particularly the more amusing ones. Write to advicediva@herald.com.